December: Days of Depression

Looking at the pictures on chocolatte really bring me down.

Let me have my moment to say a few things;

Next to Teo and Chester, I think I am probably having a really rough time. Let me compare my situation to the others who are studying abroad.

JasmineYap: She's in Australia, but she's got her boyfriend there with her, and an AZN squad from Brunei, who know their lahs from bahs, and who know what Gadong is.

JohnD: His parents are a 45-minute drive from his dorm. Haha I really remember when John got arrested. And he gets to come back to Brunei once a month or so.

Sana: Although she was completely uprooted to Australia, at least her whole family got uprooted with her.

Mae&JasmineMarie: At least they've got relatives they've known for a while.

Conan&Jonan: They're in Singapore. Singapore = their homeland. I believe they're having a cruddy time too.

And I have so much doubt about whether I finish this term well. I didn't do such a good job as I promised to myself and my parents. I failed my Calculus (unexpectedly) and my Linear Algebra (sort of expectedly) the last midterm. I am really in fear of failing the finals coming up. The pressure of 5-digit tuition fees to UNBSJ and 5-digit yearly living costs is getting to me.

And yet, I still come up with excuses for my performance.

"I'm too young for all this!"
"I'm new here!"
"I haven't been studying for 10 months!"
"These 6 courses are choking me!"

Sure they sound reasonable, but

"don't make excuses, josh" - says Tanya

And the setting sun at 5pm is really taking a piece of my joy-time.

I am taking these new optimism pills (haha kidding). And I hope to get back into the groove in January.

The following pictures are pictures i have taken the previous month, and the Last Class Bash I went to Friday night. Maybe you can spot my fake smiles.

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At the tour of Saint John city with Tanya


Playing the piano in front of a small crowd.


Philip showing off his project. And Travis...umm.


Waiting for a bus.

Masquerading with Fadia.


That's our solar thermal energy collector projects, with Jesse lying on the grass.


Jesse as my supposed 'date' for the Winter Formal.


YMCA = dancefloor staple


My very first DJ performance for a school dance


Jesse, Tanya, Ali, Me, Fadia, Travis, Joanna

Me and my UNCUT hair

At the piano in school


Lights lights lights


That's where everyone was dancing

Some of them are completely trashed. Can you spot them?

In closing, I think I just need to sit down and pray a long time.