life: Programmed

EXECUTE INTRO MESSAGE
IF YOU'VE DONE SOME AMOUNT OF PROGRAMMING BEFORE, YOU PROBABLY WOULD UNDERSTAND THE WHOLE POST. IF NOT, THEN...JUST READ ALONG AND TRY TO FIGURE IT OUT!

WHEN BODY CLOCK = 0600
EXECUTE WAKE UP SEQUENCE
IF DAY = "SATURDAY" OR "SUNDAY"
EXECUTE SLEEP IN
ELSE GET OUT OF BED

IF SCHOOL = STILL STANDING
EXECUTE GRUMBLE MUMBLE
END IF

IF PIMPLES = STILL THERE
EXECUTE GRUMBLE MUMBLE
ELSE EXECUTE "YAY!"

IF BATH WATER = COLD
EXECUTE GRUMBLE MUMBLE
EXECUTE MAKE WATER HOT
EXECUTE RELAX IN SHOWER
END IF

IF MONEY = STILL IN WALLET
EXECUTE SAY-OUT-LOUD
SAY-OUT-LOUD = "YES!"
ELSE EXECUTE SAY-OUT-LOUD
SAY-OUT-LOUD = "CRAP!"

WHILE AWAKE
IF WEATHER = NICE WITH SUNSHINE
EXECUTE HUM HAPPY SONG
SONG = "THE CHORDETTES - MR SANDMAN"
ALSO EXECUTE SMILE ON FACE
END IF

IF WEATHER = DARK AND GLOOMY
EXECUTE HUM DEPRESSING SONG
SONG = "METALLICA - ENTER THE SANDMAN"
ALSO EXECUTE GRUMBLE MUMBLE
END IF

WHILE ONLINE
IF CONAN = ONLINE
EXECUTE SEND MESSAGE
MESSAGE = "HI"
EXECUTE PROPER CONVERSATION
WHEN IN PROPER CONVERSATION
EXECUTE SEND MESSAGE
MESSAGE = "I HAVEN'T TURNED"
END IF

IF JOHN D = ONLINE
EXECUTE SEND MESSAGE
MESSAGE = "YOU GAY"
EXECUTE MINDLESS CONVERSATION
END IF

IF SANA = ONLINE
EXECUTE SEND MESSAGE
MESSAGE = "CHACHACHA!"
EXECUTE NEAR-MINDLESS CONVERSATION
END IF

IF AMILYN = ONLINE
EXECUTE SEND MESSAGE
MESSAGE = "HEY I MISS YOU LAH"
END IF

IF AMILYN = OFF-LINE
EXECUTE SEND OFF-LINE MESSAGE
MESSAGE = "HEY I MISS YOU LAH"
END IF

WHEN WATCHING TV
IF SHOW = "EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND"
EXECUTE FEELING
FEELING = "LAUGH LAUGH"
END IF

IF SHOW = "LOST"
EXECUTE FEELING
FEELING = "EXCITEDNESS"
END IF

IF SHOW = "KARAOKE CHANNEL"
EXECUTE SAY-OUT-LOUD
SAY-OUT-LOUD = "WHERE'S MY MIC!?"
END IF

WHEN MONTH = APRIL 2007
EXECUTE GET READY TO GO HOME