December: Days of Depression

Looking at the pictures on chocolatte really bring me down.

Let me have my moment to say a few things;

Next to Teo and Chester, I think I am probably having a really rough time. Let me compare my situation to the others who are studying abroad.

JasmineYap: She's in Australia, but she's got her boyfriend there with her, and an AZN squad from Brunei, who know their lahs from bahs, and who know what Gadong is.

JohnD: His parents are a 45-minute drive from his dorm. Haha I really remember when John got arrested. And he gets to come back to Brunei once a month or so.

Sana: Although she was completely uprooted to Australia, at least her whole family got uprooted with her.

Mae&JasmineMarie: At least they've got relatives they've known for a while.

Conan&Jonan: They're in Singapore. Singapore = their homeland. I believe they're having a cruddy time too.

And I have so much doubt about whether I finish this term well. I didn't do such a good job as I promised to myself and my parents. I failed my Calculus (unexpectedly) and my Linear Algebra (sort of expectedly) the last midterm. I am really in fear of failing the finals coming up. The pressure of 5-digit tuition fees to UNBSJ and 5-digit yearly living costs is getting to me.

And yet, I still come up with excuses for my performance.

"I'm too young for all this!"
"I'm new here!"
"I haven't been studying for 10 months!"
"These 6 courses are choking me!"

Sure they sound reasonable, but

"don't make excuses, josh" - says Tanya

And the setting sun at 5pm is really taking a piece of my joy-time.

I am taking these new optimism pills (haha kidding). And I hope to get back into the groove in January.

The following pictures are pictures i have taken the previous month, and the Last Class Bash I went to Friday night. Maybe you can spot my fake smiles.

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At the tour of Saint John city with Tanya


Playing the piano in front of a small crowd.


Philip showing off his project. And Travis...umm.


Waiting for a bus.

Masquerading with Fadia.


That's our solar thermal energy collector projects, with Jesse lying on the grass.


Jesse as my supposed 'date' for the Winter Formal.


YMCA = dancefloor staple


My very first DJ performance for a school dance


Jesse, Tanya, Ali, Me, Fadia, Travis, Joanna

Me and my UNCUT hair

At the piano in school


Lights lights lights


That's where everyone was dancing

Some of them are completely trashed. Can you spot them?

In closing, I think I just need to sit down and pray a long time.

2 Steps.

DISTANCE
KILLING ME
HATING IT

UNI LIFE
KILLING ME
LOVING IT

MONDAY
OFFICIALLY STARTED WEARING 3 LAYERS

TUESDAY
OFFICIALLY STARTED SLEEPING WITH 2 LAYERS

Just something to prevent the artificial 'blog-dust' from accumulating.

The Wishlist

Mood: Kind of so so

Listening to: Jazzanova - Blue Note Trip Compilation
Reading: How the Yellow River of China turned red
Watching: Nacho Libre with Tanya and Jesse (next week maybe)
Hair-length: Longer than ever
Armpit smell (a.k.a. stank): Tolerable
Major decisions: Whether to go to winter formal this Friday. How to make it through the remainder of the term.
Minor decisions: Whether to go have a bath now to reduce the stank to 'not present'.
Cash-in-hand: <$100
Cash-in-dreams: $10000000000000000
Number of nose-kisses since arrival in Canada: ZERO (actually VERY good)
Miss-Family&Friends Level: MAX

I've come up with a wishlist.

Material:

Lexus LS 2007


A car that does the parallel parking for you is the bomb.
And there's something about a Lexus.
Something.....

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Samsung X640

I miss my old flipper-phone.
It's nearly been 4 months since it's been lost to the beach.
I regret being a forgetful moron.

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Nike Zoom Kobe 1

If this shoe were a candy I'd eat it.

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Emerveillement
(30"x40" canvas print by Friess Benjamin)

A rather awesome digital painting.
I bet it's fun to have it supersized to hang on the wall.
But the post-purchase trauma is horrible I presume...
This canvas sells for $421.89 Canadian!

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Summer Lovin'
(18"x24" lustre print by Gilad Benari)

Ah, something to warm your heart any time of the day,
and give it that fuzzy feeling.

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NON-MATERIAL
RED FOR ME BLUE FOR SOCIETY

PERFECT 20/20 VISION . FREEHAND DRAWING SKILLS . THIS KELOID ON MY KNEE TO BE GONE . LESS SEX-ME-UP RAP MUSIC ANYWHERE . LESS(OR)NO GAY/LESBIAN ADOPTION RIGHTS . JUST A LITTLE WARMTH IN MY ROOM . PEACE BETWEEN VEGANS AND NON-VEGANS (LOL) . GETTING TOGETHER WITH FRIENDS WHO DON'T HAVE TO GET DAMN DRUNK OFF OF ALCOHOL TO HAVE FUN . GLOBAL AWARENESS IN ABSTINENCE, NOT PROTECTION . MORE HOURS IN THE DAY . MORE LOST . SNOW IN BRUNEI JUST FOR ONE DAY!!!

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LAST NOTES

IT WILL BE A VERY SAD DAY WHEN THE OPTIONS 'MALE or FEMALE' AREN'T THE ONLY ONES YOU CAN CHOOSE FROM IN A FILL-OUT FORM.

I'M SLIGHTLY RIGHT-WINGED.

AND FOR THE VEGANS OUT THERE. TAKE THIS WITH GREAT HUMOUR.

no more vegetarianism by machinations

life: Programmed

EXECUTE INTRO MESSAGE
IF YOU'VE DONE SOME AMOUNT OF PROGRAMMING BEFORE, YOU PROBABLY WOULD UNDERSTAND THE WHOLE POST. IF NOT, THEN...JUST READ ALONG AND TRY TO FIGURE IT OUT!

WHEN BODY CLOCK = 0600
EXECUTE WAKE UP SEQUENCE
IF DAY = "SATURDAY" OR "SUNDAY"
EXECUTE SLEEP IN
ELSE GET OUT OF BED

IF SCHOOL = STILL STANDING
EXECUTE GRUMBLE MUMBLE
END IF

IF PIMPLES = STILL THERE
EXECUTE GRUMBLE MUMBLE
ELSE EXECUTE "YAY!"

IF BATH WATER = COLD
EXECUTE GRUMBLE MUMBLE
EXECUTE MAKE WATER HOT
EXECUTE RELAX IN SHOWER
END IF

IF MONEY = STILL IN WALLET
EXECUTE SAY-OUT-LOUD
SAY-OUT-LOUD = "YES!"
ELSE EXECUTE SAY-OUT-LOUD
SAY-OUT-LOUD = "CRAP!"

WHILE AWAKE
IF WEATHER = NICE WITH SUNSHINE
EXECUTE HUM HAPPY SONG
SONG = "THE CHORDETTES - MR SANDMAN"
ALSO EXECUTE SMILE ON FACE
END IF

IF WEATHER = DARK AND GLOOMY
EXECUTE HUM DEPRESSING SONG
SONG = "METALLICA - ENTER THE SANDMAN"
ALSO EXECUTE GRUMBLE MUMBLE
END IF

WHILE ONLINE
IF CONAN = ONLINE
EXECUTE SEND MESSAGE
MESSAGE = "HI"
EXECUTE PROPER CONVERSATION
WHEN IN PROPER CONVERSATION
EXECUTE SEND MESSAGE
MESSAGE = "I HAVEN'T TURNED"
END IF

IF JOHN D = ONLINE
EXECUTE SEND MESSAGE
MESSAGE = "YOU GAY"
EXECUTE MINDLESS CONVERSATION
END IF

IF SANA = ONLINE
EXECUTE SEND MESSAGE
MESSAGE = "CHACHACHA!"
EXECUTE NEAR-MINDLESS CONVERSATION
END IF

IF AMILYN = ONLINE
EXECUTE SEND MESSAGE
MESSAGE = "HEY I MISS YOU LAH"
END IF

IF AMILYN = OFF-LINE
EXECUTE SEND OFF-LINE MESSAGE
MESSAGE = "HEY I MISS YOU LAH"
END IF

WHEN WATCHING TV
IF SHOW = "EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND"
EXECUTE FEELING
FEELING = "LAUGH LAUGH"
END IF

IF SHOW = "LOST"
EXECUTE FEELING
FEELING = "EXCITEDNESS"
END IF

IF SHOW = "KARAOKE CHANNEL"
EXECUTE SAY-OUT-LOUD
SAY-OUT-LOUD = "WHERE'S MY MIC!?"
END IF

WHEN MONTH = APRIL 2007
EXECUTE GET READY TO GO HOME

poetry for a friend

needless to say
those needles can't stay
take those needles away

get rid of those needless needles

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I was feeling happy today, but the rest of this week is not going to be good.

Tuesday
Mechanics & Calculus midterm papers
Linear Algebra review class at night
Engineering quiz due at 5:30pm
Mechanics laboratory pre-laboratory assignment

Wednesday
Go to Wendy's restaurant in Jesse's new car before going to...
Linear Algebra review class at night again

Thursday
Solar energy collector prototype model due

Friday
Linear Algebra & Chemistry midterm paper
Chemistry pre-laboratory assignment due
Chemistry lecture assignment due
Calculus assignment due


Saturday and Sunday
CKO (Complete Knock-Out)

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and just guess who's a little excited for snow.

Flurries

Here in Canada, Not so much snowfall = flurries. Makes me want to go to MacDonald's and eat some McFlurry, or I could just buy Oreo cookies and vanilla ice cream, blend it all together and maybe get the same thing.

That white stuff is the snow. Not too much, but enough to get me excited for 4 feet of white-out snow! And the snow-men with carrots for noses. And the frozen lakes and rivers. And the snow angel I'll be making (by myself sadly). And hopefully the road trip to go skiing!

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And if you ever need a digital shave, go to
Kevin Loh's Digital Barbershop

Look how old I looked on the left, transformed into a weirder looking guy looking the same age. Now Amilyn, is this what you want me to look like when I come back?

Well to close off, here's some songs I will not be singing next month

I'll Be Home For Christmas

and probably perhaps

I'll Be Home For New Year's

and even more bizzarely

I'll Be Home For Chinese New Year (TongTongChang Remix)

Anatomy Of A Halloween Party

A few days ago was Halloween

And a few kids came over to the house, wearing cute costumes
and went 'trick or treat!'
some kids had entire bags of candy

everything I saw on television is true
this is the childhood festival i've been missing

it wasn't too late for me,
cause i went to a halloween party last saturday night

And let me introduce to you:

THE ANATOMY OF A HALLOWEEN PARTY

The scary decorations

The finger food

The light-machine...

that lights up the dance floor

And...unfortunately, the drinks

And you always need an alien!


And here's me with a couple of friends...




It was a simple Halloween house party
A couple of adults around wearing funny costumes
Rather boring hiphop saturating the dancefloor
A few people falling over

I didn't sip from any beer bottle/can
"FINALLY!" I said when I saw the Pepsi.

I came home around 2am

I didn't come home feeling like throwing up
I didn't come home wondering where the hell I was
I didn't come home walking like I spun around 30 times
I didn't come home singing Frank Sinatra's 'My Way'

I didn't come home drunk

I know how to have a good time...
without having to feel like crap the next day

Had to go to church the following morning
I actually woke up at 7.30am!

It was a really nice weekend.

But come Monday I felt depressed again...
As the Daylight Savings Time stopped...
and it got dark by 5.30pm